So....I really, really, REALLY should be doing my homework right now, but my brain literally won't let me. I am so burnt out that my body is choosing to shut down for the night, so I have decided on a little blogging for the night, maybe a little, light, enjoyable reading and then bed time.
Today I am feeling a more spiritual blog post coming on. I know, I know....what a typical Utah girl blog, but I think it is a good idea to be reminded every once and a while about those things.
So over the past 6-8 I am pretty sure I have experienced hell and back. I went off my own personal deep end and hit rock bottom. My grades suffered, I was not a happy person, I wasn't fun to be around, everything was always going wrong and the list just continues on and on. The sucky part was that I knew all of that crap attributed to me not reading scriptures, saying prayers and doing the little things we should all be doing. My extent of church stuff was going to church and just sitting....that was it.
So as Christmas break came and went I realized there needed to be some changes made. I was hating myself for being tired, unhappy, miserable and just not in a good place. I decided to start slowly reading scriptures and saying prayers again and I tried to make it a goal to at least actively listen through one meeting at church. I also decided to start a gratitude journal.....cliche I know, but I had heard so many good things that I figured it couldn't hurt.
Slowly, after working piece by piece on all of these things I have started to feel like me again. I am happy almost all of the time and I have started seeing the good in everything thing again. My optimism is back and I am loving it. That alone is a huge testimony builder to me, but here is the real light blub moment that hit me this weekend.
On saturday, as I was writing down in my journal, I realized that every little thing that happened that day was good and something to be thankful for. As I finished writing I looked at the bottom of the page and low and and behold what scripture was on the bottom, the ever so classic "where much is given much is required."
At first I kinda felt like "oh crap" I don't have time or energy to give much back to the Lord right now because even though I am happy, I am being absolutely run through the mud. However as soon as I had that thought, it was taken over by the other thought of "what are you thinking you dough brain, of course you can give back anything and everything to him." If the Lord is willing to give me all these blessings the heck yes I will do anything for him. Working and following what he wants me to do is totally worth it, even if it means I am completely drained. IT IS ALL WORTH IT! I will give everything so I never have to go back to being in that miserable state again. It has taken me twenty years to figure it out, but my heck, I think I finally figured it out.
Beyond that I have also slowly learned that when I put the Lord first, he ALWAYS helps out. I have even just noticed that in the past couple months. Yeah things are still hard, but everything in now do-able.
Ok so there is my little blurb for tonight. I just want to leave with saying put the Lord first. I KNOW it is probably the hardest thing to do, but I'll let you in on a little secret.....there is nothing more worth it!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Real Valentines
And here we are! Congratulations on making it through another Valentines Day....glad to see everyone survived....mostly.
Valentine's Day has always been a holiday I love to love to hate. Every day following up to Valentines day makes me absolutely dread it. The thought of all that lovey romance crap that I don't have or seeing people with flowers and treats can seriously make a person sick. However I had an epiphany today.....Valentines is exactly the opposite!!!
My kids taught me a valuable lesson today! As I was tuning instruments today I had kids walking in with all their cute tshirts and valentines boxes and was taken back to my elementary years where I was so excited to pick out the perfect valentine to give to that secret crush that I had. I had some kids super excited to see who would send them special valentines, some who couldn't wait to eat all the candy and some that flat out hated the thought of all this love going on. Well as I was tuning I had quite a few kids, in both classes, come up and give me some valentines! If I had been sitting in a chair I would have jumped out of it because I was so excited! It dawned on me that valentines is not about all this romantic love crap but about the love you have for everyone!
I have always been a hopeless romantic, which is why I usually hate Valentines because well.....I have never had a boyfriend, heck I have barely had a hand full of dates and have only ever kissed one boy...Valentines has never been one of my top woo hoo days, but today as my kids handed me those Valentines I seriously could have cared less about any boy at that moment! Knowing that I have made some kind of difference to them, and that they don't hate me, meant a lot! At the end of my second class, my kids were hopped up on loads of sugar, so we had a fun day and as we were going out I had one of my girls just wrap her arms around my waist and give me the biggest hug I have had in a long time. And it was no ordinary hug...the best way to describe it was that she squeezed all the stuffing out of me and then look right up at me and said Happy Valentines Day and kept squeezing!
Valentines Day is a day to show those you care about how much you care about them and how much you appreciate them. Yes, it is all about love, but today I have learned and really been shown that it is about family love, friend love, roommate love, student love, and just about any kind of love you can think of. Valentines day, even though it focuses mainly on it, does not have to be centered around romantic love, even though that is nice.
It's been a day where I have realized how blessed and lucky I am to be where I am with the people that I know. I have the greatest family, the bestest friends, the awesome-est roommates, the funnest students and just great people in my life. I spent my day teaching, in class and at a basketball game. It was just an ordinary day, but it was a great day that just made me feel over the top. I have no romantic Valentine this year, but I couldn't be more ok with that this year, although the single rose, the few chocolates and the paper heart that says Dear Kristen, Love you, left at my door step did add a cherry to the top of my loving day today. But even without those things from some random person, today has still been one of the best days I have had in a long time.
So in my sign out today I leave you with one thought.....make sure you tell the people that you love, that you love them! They are the ones who will always be there and who evidently mean a lot to you because they are in your life right now. I know Valentines is always advertised as the romantic love holiday, but make it what you want it to be, not what the media or world tells you what it should be. I did it my way this year and was the best one I have had in a lot of years!
Friday, January 20, 2012
My Gratitude List
Alrighty...so I have failed in the blogging world lately, but that will change my friends...it will change! I was going to blog about the BOWL game but my camera is being super lame and has those specific pics on it, but it wont transfer them. So as soon as I can get them transferred they will be on there!
I thought today I would log about my blessings! This year I started keeping a gratitude journal because last year I just had a terrible attitude and found everything that was going wrong and not right. So one of my top resolutions this year is to find the good in everything, so if life in general, here are a few constantly good things that I could not be more thankful for!
I thought today I would log about my blessings! This year I started keeping a gratitude journal because last year I just had a terrible attitude and found everything that was going wrong and not right. So one of my top resolutions this year is to find the good in everything, so if life in general, here are a few constantly good things that I could not be more thankful for!
First of all would be my two families!!!!! When my parents split almost 11 years ago, I thought it was the worst thing in the world and I thought nothing good would EVER come of it, but boy was I COMPLETELY wrong and I am soooo glad I was!!! It wasnt under the best circumstances a nine year old could have asked for, but because of my parents splitting I got two AMAZING families!!!!!!!!! Two families of 6....what more could a girl ask for?! I now have 5 siblings who are the greatest and which never allows me to be bored. I have two dad's who teach me how to work hard and be one of they guys by watching saturday football or basketball, and who are genius math guys! I also have two mom's who are the greatest in the whole world! They teach me everything I need to know motherly wise and more. They are two of my bestest friends and they are the kindest, sweetest, loving women I have ever met! I could not be more thankful for how things turned out! I would not trade my families for anything and I am so grateful to have them both!!!
Secondly, I am grateful for my "little" brother!!!! As you can see in the pic above he really isnt little, but he is still my little brother. All growing up we fought, he use to drive me crazy, and we were both super moody so it was hard to get along, but now its the exact opposite! I can trust him with anything and he is just fabulous! He has come to help me move several times, I have helped him with girl issues, we find humor in the same things and we always have a good time hanging out even if we are just watching tv. He is my little Jefe and I am his Kwan and that is always how it will be!
Next I am grateful for my roommates. There are days we drive each other crazy, but the 3 of us have been together for almost two full years of school. We are all so different that I still don't know how we get along and survive each other, but we havent killed each other yet and we can always find a good time. I trust them with anything and I know I can tell them anything, be happy, be tired, be whiny, be whatever but they still love me and I still love them!
Next, I am beyond and beyond grateful for the BESTEST friend in the whole wide world!!!!! Kathryn Anne Porter is the coolest person I know!!!! We met each other in the 7th and 8th grade, but it feels like we have known each other for forever and then some! She is almost a year and half older then I am, you would never know it because we are so close! We are literally two peas in a pod! She knows literally everything about me and what is going on because we tell each other everything! We can get mad at each other and be just fine. We can be completely out of our minds crazy and have a good time! She has taught me so much over the years and I know she will teach me with so many years to come! It is scary how much we think alike and how similar we are, yet we are so different and balance each other out perfectly! I do not know what I would do without this woman! She is the GREATEST in the whole world!!!
I am also thankful for school! Most days I would not admit that, but I really am. I have learned so much, gained so many friends and had soooo many opportunities thrown at me! I love to learn, even when it is hard I still love it. School is always something I have been able to do and do pretty good at it! It is just a fun thing!
Next is music! I have my momma to thank for this one. All my life I have grown up with music and because of that I picked up a few instruments because of it and because of that I have also had some amazing opportunities! I have had the chance to play with the Utah Symphony, play amazing music, meet fantastic people, travel places and have an even closer relationship with my mom. She taught me how to appreciate music and art in all forms. I am so thankful for music! It is always my fall back, fun thing to do! It keeps me sane!
The last thing I am grateful for is the gospel! I would not be the person I am without it! It has taught me so much and made me into the woman I am today. I also know that without it, everything I have and everything I am grateful for would not exist. It is the foundation upon which everything I know and believe and have is based! Without it I would be truly lost! I am incredibly grateful to have the church and gospel in my life!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Goin' BOWLIN!!!!!!!
So this year, for the first time since 1997, the Utah State University Football Team has been invited to play in a bowl game......THE AGGIES ARE GOIN' BOWLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
The Aggies have been invited to play in the Idaho Potato Bowl against Ohio on December 17th @ 3:30pm! I dont know either team's stats very well at all, but by looking at their winning and losing record for the season, I would say, and hope, that it will hopefully be a pretty good game! I do think we have a slightly upper edge though.....I am hoping and praying that our slightly colder weather here will help us out. Ohio isnt much different weather wise, but we have been about 10 degrees colder so maybe it will help us out. There was an article last week that the punter for Ohio was complaining about being invited to the Idaho Bowl because it was cold! What a winer! Let's send them packin' aggies!
Alright so all of this is very exciting, but probably not the most interesting thing to blog about, but the main reason I am blogging about it is because there is one part of the game I am excited about..............I GET TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being on SAA council is nothing but a joy with lots of perks! The alumni association is putting on the pre-game party and all that stuff, so being the student alumni, we got ok-ed to go and help be some man power! Yes, we will have to do some work, but WHO CARES! We get free hotel for 2 nights, free transportation, and free game tickets! Actually the only thing we have to pay for is two dinners worth! That is it!!!!!!! I am so freaking excited I can barely stand it. We leave Friday right after my last final and get to party all weekend! A whole weekend to be decked out in aggie gear, be with some of my favorite people, watch a sport I beyond enjoy, and cheer on and support the best college ever! Sounds like a sweet deal! I am soooooo excited I can barely stand it! LET'S GO AGGIES!!!!!
The Aggies have been invited to play in the Idaho Potato Bowl against Ohio on December 17th @ 3:30pm! I dont know either team's stats very well at all, but by looking at their winning and losing record for the season, I would say, and hope, that it will hopefully be a pretty good game! I do think we have a slightly upper edge though.....I am hoping and praying that our slightly colder weather here will help us out. Ohio isnt much different weather wise, but we have been about 10 degrees colder so maybe it will help us out. There was an article last week that the punter for Ohio was complaining about being invited to the Idaho Bowl because it was cold! What a winer! Let's send them packin' aggies!
Alright so all of this is very exciting, but probably not the most interesting thing to blog about, but the main reason I am blogging about it is because there is one part of the game I am excited about..............I GET TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being on SAA council is nothing but a joy with lots of perks! The alumni association is putting on the pre-game party and all that stuff, so being the student alumni, we got ok-ed to go and help be some man power! Yes, we will have to do some work, but WHO CARES! We get free hotel for 2 nights, free transportation, and free game tickets! Actually the only thing we have to pay for is two dinners worth! That is it!!!!!!! I am so freaking excited I can barely stand it. We leave Friday right after my last final and get to party all weekend! A whole weekend to be decked out in aggie gear, be with some of my favorite people, watch a sport I beyond enjoy, and cheer on and support the best college ever! Sounds like a sweet deal! I am soooooo excited I can barely stand it! LET'S GO AGGIES!!!!!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Newest Obsessions
Alrighty.....so every once and a while I get told about, hear, or see new things and instantly I am hooked. I am kinda like my mom in the fact that, regarding some things, I can have a rather addictive personality. I have never over done it, but I sometimes I just get sucked in and every free moment I get I am watching, listening, or doing those random things. So here are my top 3 obsessions as of right now!
2. The Vampire Diaries
Alrighty....so in my last year of high school I had friends, neighbors, and even leaders who were hooked on this show. My thoughts were, "oh it's just another Twilight, whatever." Boy was I WRONG! It is amazing. Well I guess it could be like twilight in the vampire, love triangle sense, but it's soooooo much better!!!!! Forget Edward and Jacob, it's all about Stefan and Damon, the two sexiest vampires since, well, EVER! I watched the first episode just to see what the big deal was and I was hooked! It is one of those series where you have to watch from the beginning or you are totally lost, I cant even begin to describe the plot because it just keeps going and going and going, and I am only half way through the second season! I must also say that I think this show has done the best at depicting the supernatural on screen. I love how they have the vampires set up and how they work around the myths. They also do a great job at the werewolves and witches too. None of them transform to be freaky and its just awesome....it's just so addicting!
3. Eclipse Christmas Album
So this obsession probably wont stay around for long, but it is here right now! When I was home for Thanksgiving and getting ready for the big turkey day, we turned on my dad's Christmas playlist on his ipod and this popped up. It is Eclipse's new Christmas album and it is FABULOUS!!!!! I love a good acapella group! It is hard to find a really really really good one, but these guys are it! Luckily enough, I found out earlier today that they are actually coming up here and doing a free concert at the TSC next Thursday.....yeah, I will so be there! But I have been non stop listening to it since Thursday! I have only been back in Logan for a day and I am sure my roommate is ready to kill me for playing it, but oh well, we only get Christmas once a year right?! But if you are in need of some good Christmas tunes, I would highly recommend this album.....it's so addictive!!!
Give it a couple months and I am sure I will have new obsessions for you all to read about, but as for now, I will for sure relish in the wonderfulness that is my lastest obsessions!
1. Wedding Gawker.com
It pretty much the most amazing website ever! My roommate told me about it, and all it is, is a giant website that has posts or links to wedding blogs and websites! You can look up most popular or latest and favorite pages so you can refer back to them. You can also search my color or category or anything!!! The pictures are amazing and it is so fun to look at weddings from around the world and see all the different ideas! I have added so many things to my wedding book since being on this site.....it's super addictive!
It pretty much the most amazing website ever! My roommate told me about it, and all it is, is a giant website that has posts or links to wedding blogs and websites! You can look up most popular or latest and favorite pages so you can refer back to them. You can also search my color or category or anything!!! The pictures are amazing and it is so fun to look at weddings from around the world and see all the different ideas! I have added so many things to my wedding book since being on this site.....it's super addictive!
2. The Vampire Diaries
Alrighty....so in my last year of high school I had friends, neighbors, and even leaders who were hooked on this show. My thoughts were, "oh it's just another Twilight, whatever." Boy was I WRONG! It is amazing. Well I guess it could be like twilight in the vampire, love triangle sense, but it's soooooo much better!!!!! Forget Edward and Jacob, it's all about Stefan and Damon, the two sexiest vampires since, well, EVER! I watched the first episode just to see what the big deal was and I was hooked! It is one of those series where you have to watch from the beginning or you are totally lost, I cant even begin to describe the plot because it just keeps going and going and going, and I am only half way through the second season! I must also say that I think this show has done the best at depicting the supernatural on screen. I love how they have the vampires set up and how they work around the myths. They also do a great job at the werewolves and witches too. None of them transform to be freaky and its just awesome....it's just so addicting!
3. Eclipse Christmas Album
So this obsession probably wont stay around for long, but it is here right now! When I was home for Thanksgiving and getting ready for the big turkey day, we turned on my dad's Christmas playlist on his ipod and this popped up. It is Eclipse's new Christmas album and it is FABULOUS!!!!! I love a good acapella group! It is hard to find a really really really good one, but these guys are it! Luckily enough, I found out earlier today that they are actually coming up here and doing a free concert at the TSC next Thursday.....yeah, I will so be there! But I have been non stop listening to it since Thursday! I have only been back in Logan for a day and I am sure my roommate is ready to kill me for playing it, but oh well, we only get Christmas once a year right?! But if you are in need of some good Christmas tunes, I would highly recommend this album.....it's so addictive!!!
Give it a couple months and I am sure I will have new obsessions for you all to read about, but as for now, I will for sure relish in the wonderfulness that is my lastest obsessions!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thanksgiving, Engagements, Missionaries, Oh My!
So.......its Thanksgiving on Thursday......WHERE DID ALL THE TIME GO?!?! I can't believe this year is almost up. I cannot be thankful enough for this holiday break. This semester has be awful and all I need/want is a really good break from everything to spend time with my family and friends.
There isn't much to update on lately. Oh I do have something exciting, my old roommate and old high school friend are both engaged. Both got engaged last week and I can barely stand it! I am so excited for them both! There are so many people getting engaged and married right now. Every time I turn around there is someone else with a new fancy rock on their finger. I know it is that time for everyone to be getting married and engaged, but it is still weird. I do love seeing all the different rings though. It is funny to see how each ring really matches all the girls' personalities. I would love a white gold band with 3 round cut diamonds. I think it is way pretty. I can't wait to have one on my finger, but I can for sure wait for a long time to get one!
The only other update I really have is that my boys are all gone. All of my best guy friends are officially on missions. My last boy left on Wednesday and it was a little harder then I thought, but I know it is for the best! I really wouldn't want it another way. I was lucky and got to spend some time with him on Saturday before he left, and he called me before he got set apart on Tuesday. It was weird saying goodbye and kind of sad, but I know it was a good goodbye and that what he and all of my other friends are doing are exactly what they should be doing!
Other then those couple things there isn't much else to update on. The semester is almost over and I am just excited for the holidays. Well I am going to go finish watching a movie with my roommate! TOOTLES!!!
There isn't much to update on lately. Oh I do have something exciting, my old roommate and old high school friend are both engaged. Both got engaged last week and I can barely stand it! I am so excited for them both! There are so many people getting engaged and married right now. Every time I turn around there is someone else with a new fancy rock on their finger. I know it is that time for everyone to be getting married and engaged, but it is still weird. I do love seeing all the different rings though. It is funny to see how each ring really matches all the girls' personalities. I would love a white gold band with 3 round cut diamonds. I think it is way pretty. I can't wait to have one on my finger, but I can for sure wait for a long time to get one!
The only other update I really have is that my boys are all gone. All of my best guy friends are officially on missions. My last boy left on Wednesday and it was a little harder then I thought, but I know it is for the best! I really wouldn't want it another way. I was lucky and got to spend some time with him on Saturday before he left, and he called me before he got set apart on Tuesday. It was weird saying goodbye and kind of sad, but I know it was a good goodbye and that what he and all of my other friends are doing are exactly what they should be doing!
Other then those couple things there isn't much else to update on. The semester is almost over and I am just excited for the holidays. Well I am going to go finish watching a movie with my roommate! TOOTLES!!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Favorite Treat
So yesterday I went to the grocery store hungry. Everyone who is an avid grocery shopper knows that going shopping while hungry is the worst possible idea ever! Even if I have a list, I usually end up buying a dozen other things that arent on my list. It just is not a good idea. Although yesterday worked out pretty well. I only walked out of the store with two things that weren't on my list and that is Sugar Wafer Cookies and..........FROSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I know most of you are probably thinking, "oh yay, she is making a cake!" Well that would be a negative. I get frosting, to eat frosting. Give me a jar and a spoon and call me good! My dear sweet great grandmother had a sweet tooth like no one I have ever known, and she so graciously passed it down the line and I have now ended up with it, hence as to why I eat a can of frosting for a treat!
I like all kinds of frosting (except the whip cream stuff on the costco cakes....yeah that isnt real frosting). I like Pillsbury, generic, schmidt's bakery cake frosting....I LOVE it all! I don't get it very often because if I did I would weigh about a bazillion pounds, but this semester has been so rough and I have not had one for months, so I decided it was time! So here I sit, eating my lemon frosting and blogging about it! Just remember if you ever want, need to thank or just feel like being kind to me.....nothing says stuff like that like a jar of frosting and a spoon!!!!!
Now I know most of you are probably thinking, "oh yay, she is making a cake!" Well that would be a negative. I get frosting, to eat frosting. Give me a jar and a spoon and call me good! My dear sweet great grandmother had a sweet tooth like no one I have ever known, and she so graciously passed it down the line and I have now ended up with it, hence as to why I eat a can of frosting for a treat!
I like all kinds of frosting (except the whip cream stuff on the costco cakes....yeah that isnt real frosting). I like Pillsbury, generic, schmidt's bakery cake frosting....I LOVE it all! I don't get it very often because if I did I would weigh about a bazillion pounds, but this semester has been so rough and I have not had one for months, so I decided it was time! So here I sit, eating my lemon frosting and blogging about it! Just remember if you ever want, need to thank or just feel like being kind to me.....nothing says stuff like that like a jar of frosting and a spoon!!!!!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Finally?!
So it's been about a year since I've decided I want to be a business major, which is just crazy. Me.....a business major???? Who would have ever thunk it! But anyway, so for the past year, I have been trying to get my classes out of the way so I can get into the business school.
So Friday I had an appointment to meet with my adviser to figure out next semester. My old adviser left so I had a new one. I walk into her office and she looks and me and says, "You have 47 credits, why in the world are you still undeclared?" I think looked at her and said that I would love to declare my major, but I cant get into the business school yet. She then hands me over to the undeclared business adviser and she asks me the same thing, "Why arent you declared?" I then inform HER that I was told I needed certain classes to get in, so I've been trying to knock them out of the park. She then turns to me and says that is a load of crap. I stare at her and the only word that comes out of my mouth is "WHAT?!"
Well it turns out that since I had over 24 college credits from high school AND because my GPA is high enough, some magic could be worked and I was, right then and there, DIRECTLY ADMITTED INTO THE HUNTSMAN SCHOOL OF BUSINESS AT UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think my jaw actually dropped. I couldnt believe it!
So I was handed a nice little green slip, I walked it over to the business building, handed it to the girl and my paper work is underway! I met with my business adviser yesterday to discuss some things and have talked about the study abroad program, which I will do summer of 2013, which seems a long ways away, but at the same time, it really is just far enough for me to make some dough and prepare myself scholar wise as well!
I honestly cant believe it! I am now officially declared. I really should celebrate or something! I honestly thought I'd have to go through the longest process ever and have to prove that I can do everything and that I'd be such an asset to the program, but I dont have to! I still have to show that I can do it grade wise, but I made it. The even cooler thing is that I was told that our of about 800ish students, ONLY about 15 are directly admitted! What the chicken?! I am not that smart, how is that even possible?!
But so there is my recent good news! I really didnt even think about it being a huge deal, but now that it has sunk in a little, I feel pretty good! I am not one to usually shout from the mountain tops, but I am going to shout a little on this one if that is ok with everyone.
Well I better go.....I've got to go man true aggie night....oh the joy haha. Well I am out of here.....TOOTLES!!!!!
So Friday I had an appointment to meet with my adviser to figure out next semester. My old adviser left so I had a new one. I walk into her office and she looks and me and says, "You have 47 credits, why in the world are you still undeclared?" I think looked at her and said that I would love to declare my major, but I cant get into the business school yet. She then hands me over to the undeclared business adviser and she asks me the same thing, "Why arent you declared?" I then inform HER that I was told I needed certain classes to get in, so I've been trying to knock them out of the park. She then turns to me and says that is a load of crap. I stare at her and the only word that comes out of my mouth is "WHAT?!"
Well it turns out that since I had over 24 college credits from high school AND because my GPA is high enough, some magic could be worked and I was, right then and there, DIRECTLY ADMITTED INTO THE HUNTSMAN SCHOOL OF BUSINESS AT UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think my jaw actually dropped. I couldnt believe it!
So I was handed a nice little green slip, I walked it over to the business building, handed it to the girl and my paper work is underway! I met with my business adviser yesterday to discuss some things and have talked about the study abroad program, which I will do summer of 2013, which seems a long ways away, but at the same time, it really is just far enough for me to make some dough and prepare myself scholar wise as well!
I honestly cant believe it! I am now officially declared. I really should celebrate or something! I honestly thought I'd have to go through the longest process ever and have to prove that I can do everything and that I'd be such an asset to the program, but I dont have to! I still have to show that I can do it grade wise, but I made it. The even cooler thing is that I was told that our of about 800ish students, ONLY about 15 are directly admitted! What the chicken?! I am not that smart, how is that even possible?!
But so there is my recent good news! I really didnt even think about it being a huge deal, but now that it has sunk in a little, I feel pretty good! I am not one to usually shout from the mountain tops, but I am going to shout a little on this one if that is ok with everyone.
Well I better go.....I've got to go man true aggie night....oh the joy haha. Well I am out of here.....TOOTLES!!!!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
October....Really?!
So I had a little light bulb moment today, I realized that October starts on saturday. I know that doesnt sound like a super exciting thing, and it really isnt, but it was just one of those "holy chicken moments....didn't we just start September?!"
September has been a good month and a lot has happened. I have met a ton of new people, I have learned about my hatred for accounting and stats, I have been busier then I have ever been in my entire life, and school technically started in August but it pretty much started in September. I had a lot of firsts this month too! Like I got to paint a street for the first time, I went to my first true aggie night, I helped put together and be in charge of a world breaking record (it was our aggie kissing chain record for those wondering), I got to drive a fancy card with a politician in it in a parade, I got to teach my first elementary orchestra class, I got to play new pieces of music for orchestra, I cooked new things and just so much more. September has been such a great month, but I am not beyond bummed it is almost over either haha.
I do not know what October will bring, but here is what I do look forward to for the coming month!
CANDY CORNS!!!!! I love candy corns, actually I love anything with a little sugar in it, but there is just something about this time of year and candy corns. They are a special treat cause you cant find them at any other time. My roommates are disgusted by my love for them, but I think they are great!
I also love Jack-o-lanterns and Halloween! Jack-o-lanterns embody everything about Halloween, which is one of my favorite holidays. They are just so much fun and you never get them at any other time of the year either. I love just being able to walk through a neighborhood and see all the cute pumpkins that all the little kids have put out on their porches for the year! They are just so much fun!
Fall fashion!!!!!!! I LOVE fall fashion. The cuts, the colors, the styles.....you just cant go wrong! Working at a clothing store in the fall is dangerous because I see all these cute fall fashions come in and I want to buy everything! Fall fashions are so much fun! That also means you can start finding cute jackets and pants and everything....LOVE IT!
Fall Weather! I LOVE fall weather. I am not a heat kind of girl. Frankly I hate the heat, summer is miserable for me! I love when the weather starts to get to like 60's, I think it is great. I am also a huge jacket lover so that means i get to start wearing all my hoodies and jackets again! Not only is the weather itself wonderful, but it makes all the leaves change colors and that makes Logan absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! It is already pretty up here, but it is amazing in the fall!
The number one reason I love fall is because of these wonderful brethern right here! General Conference! When I was little, I use to dread the first week in October cause that would mean I would have to waste 4 hours of a day sitting on the couch listening to a forever long sacrament meeting, but now those 8 hours are the best hours of the fall! I love and sitting and listening to the men and women of the church share their testimonies of the church and of Christ! I learn so much from it and am so grateful that we get to just chill for a weekend to listen to the inspired words of the prophets and apostles!
September has been a good month and a lot has happened. I have met a ton of new people, I have learned about my hatred for accounting and stats, I have been busier then I have ever been in my entire life, and school technically started in August but it pretty much started in September. I had a lot of firsts this month too! Like I got to paint a street for the first time, I went to my first true aggie night, I helped put together and be in charge of a world breaking record (it was our aggie kissing chain record for those wondering), I got to drive a fancy card with a politician in it in a parade, I got to teach my first elementary orchestra class, I got to play new pieces of music for orchestra, I cooked new things and just so much more. September has been such a great month, but I am not beyond bummed it is almost over either haha.
I do not know what October will bring, but here is what I do look forward to for the coming month!
I also love Jack-o-lanterns and Halloween! Jack-o-lanterns embody everything about Halloween, which is one of my favorite holidays. They are just so much fun and you never get them at any other time of the year either. I love just being able to walk through a neighborhood and see all the cute pumpkins that all the little kids have put out on their porches for the year! They are just so much fun!
Fall fashion!!!!!!! I LOVE fall fashion. The cuts, the colors, the styles.....you just cant go wrong! Working at a clothing store in the fall is dangerous because I see all these cute fall fashions come in and I want to buy everything! Fall fashions are so much fun! That also means you can start finding cute jackets and pants and everything....LOVE IT!
Fall Weather! I LOVE fall weather. I am not a heat kind of girl. Frankly I hate the heat, summer is miserable for me! I love when the weather starts to get to like 60's, I think it is great. I am also a huge jacket lover so that means i get to start wearing all my hoodies and jackets again! Not only is the weather itself wonderful, but it makes all the leaves change colors and that makes Logan absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! It is already pretty up here, but it is amazing in the fall!
The number one reason I love fall is because of these wonderful brethern right here! General Conference! When I was little, I use to dread the first week in October cause that would mean I would have to waste 4 hours of a day sitting on the couch listening to a forever long sacrament meeting, but now those 8 hours are the best hours of the fall! I love and sitting and listening to the men and women of the church share their testimonies of the church and of Christ! I learn so much from it and am so grateful that we get to just chill for a weekend to listen to the inspired words of the prophets and apostles!
Well there you have it......Happy October Everyone!!!!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Mac and Cheese
So tonight is going to be pretty random, but I needed something to do while waiting for true aggie night because I cant do homework any longer (I am not going to be a true aggie, I am just going to help run it for SAA, so dont panic parents haha).
So tonight's entry will be on my dinner.....mac and cheese! Now you are probably thinking, "oh yeah, some kraft mac and cheese sounds really exciting, way to go Kristen," but that is where you would be wrong! I can NOT eat box mac and cheese. I think it the most disgusting thing on this planet earth (I apologize to all of you out there who love it). No.....I do not make box mac and cheese, I make HOMEMADE mac and cheese!
As far as I know, the recipe is from my grandma and that was what I grew up on and it is delicious! It is probably really a heart attack in a bowl because of all the milk, cheese, and butter that you put in, but it is amazing! You cant make it very often because it is so rich, but it's worth every second and it is really easy to make as well!
I always knew it was good, but I have learned that people LOVE this stuff. Out of what I make for dinners, the mac and cheese is one of the dishes my roommates super super love!
So yeah, there is my random post for this evening! If anyone ever wants the recipe, just let me know. It is super cheap and super easy and pretty fast! Well I am going to go chill for an hour before heading up to be the great historian and picture taker for true aggie night.......TOOTLES!!!
So tonight's entry will be on my dinner.....mac and cheese! Now you are probably thinking, "oh yeah, some kraft mac and cheese sounds really exciting, way to go Kristen," but that is where you would be wrong! I can NOT eat box mac and cheese. I think it the most disgusting thing on this planet earth (I apologize to all of you out there who love it). No.....I do not make box mac and cheese, I make HOMEMADE mac and cheese!
As far as I know, the recipe is from my grandma and that was what I grew up on and it is delicious! It is probably really a heart attack in a bowl because of all the milk, cheese, and butter that you put in, but it is amazing! You cant make it very often because it is so rich, but it's worth every second and it is really easy to make as well!
I always knew it was good, but I have learned that people LOVE this stuff. Out of what I make for dinners, the mac and cheese is one of the dishes my roommates super super love!
So yeah, there is my random post for this evening! If anyone ever wants the recipe, just let me know. It is super cheap and super easy and pretty fast! Well I am going to go chill for an hour before heading up to be the great historian and picture taker for true aggie night.......TOOTLES!!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Catch Up!!!!
Hello every family! It has been a few days so I thought I'd give y'all a nice little update! What a whirlwind of a week! School has gone out of control! I am sitting at a normal amount of credits but I am having a hard time understanding accounting and stats, so its made it a little interesting, but it is good! I am loving econ, (surprisingly) english, and orchestra though! My classes, overall, are actually all good, but it is just nice to be back into a routine and being busy and loving the Aggie life....WOOT WOOT...GO AGGIES!!!
The other thing that has been on my plate has been Student Alumni Association (SAA), which has been BEYOND fun! September is crazy busy for our club! We have at least 2 activities each week of September between true aggie nights, homecoming, our welcome back social, service activities and so much more! It is crazy but so fun! This picture below is a picture of our council this year and what a great group of people to work with! After council retreat, which I will post pictures up for, was a blast, and I got to know these guys sooooo well and we have already had a ton of fun this year! In the picture (just going straight across) there is kyle, andrew, whitney, missy, alyssa, me, megan, brianna, braquel, james, alexis, and caleb! I love the guys...they are great! I cant wait to see what else holds with all of us!
Beyond that as well I am also in full Mountain West String Academy teaching mode (I couldnt get a picture to copy on here, lame, I know). Today I actually met with the two principals of the two school I am teaching at. Yeah....that set me in a slight panic attack mode. Meeting the teachers made it really real for me that I start teaching 4th graders in a week and a half! I could be that teacher that makes a kid hate or love their instrument! That scares me cuz what if I make them hate it?! Now that would just be a huge bummer! I have only ever seen mom and Mrs. Flygare teach orchestra and both of those teachers taught older kids.....I dont know how to teach little kids...AHHHH! But no it will be exciting, fun, nerve racking and every emotion you can think of, but I excited!
Beyond those few things I have just been working here and there, getting to know a few new people, hanging with the roommies and just livin' the college life haha! Even though it is kind of all over the place and a little stressful, I. AM. LOVING. IT!!!!! So far sophomore year has been considered a great year and there is still so much more to come! More SAA activities, more people to meet, classes to go to, and oh.....FOOTBALL ON SATURDAY!!!!! so excited! we have our first home came in two days! Cant wait!
Well that is about it for me! Hope everyone else is doing great! As for right now, I think I am going to go get ready for bed cause I am exhausted! TOOTLES!!!!
The other thing that has been on my plate has been Student Alumni Association (SAA), which has been BEYOND fun! September is crazy busy for our club! We have at least 2 activities each week of September between true aggie nights, homecoming, our welcome back social, service activities and so much more! It is crazy but so fun! This picture below is a picture of our council this year and what a great group of people to work with! After council retreat, which I will post pictures up for, was a blast, and I got to know these guys sooooo well and we have already had a ton of fun this year! In the picture (just going straight across) there is kyle, andrew, whitney, missy, alyssa, me, megan, brianna, braquel, james, alexis, and caleb! I love the guys...they are great! I cant wait to see what else holds with all of us!
Beyond that as well I am also in full Mountain West String Academy teaching mode (I couldnt get a picture to copy on here, lame, I know). Today I actually met with the two principals of the two school I am teaching at. Yeah....that set me in a slight panic attack mode. Meeting the teachers made it really real for me that I start teaching 4th graders in a week and a half! I could be that teacher that makes a kid hate or love their instrument! That scares me cuz what if I make them hate it?! Now that would just be a huge bummer! I have only ever seen mom and Mrs. Flygare teach orchestra and both of those teachers taught older kids.....I dont know how to teach little kids...AHHHH! But no it will be exciting, fun, nerve racking and every emotion you can think of, but I excited!
Beyond those few things I have just been working here and there, getting to know a few new people, hanging with the roommies and just livin' the college life haha! Even though it is kind of all over the place and a little stressful, I. AM. LOVING. IT!!!!! So far sophomore year has been considered a great year and there is still so much more to come! More SAA activities, more people to meet, classes to go to, and oh.....FOOTBALL ON SATURDAY!!!!! so excited! we have our first home came in two days! Cant wait!
Well that is about it for me! Hope everyone else is doing great! As for right now, I think I am going to go get ready for bed cause I am exhausted! TOOTLES!!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday.....Really?!
Can I just say one thing......YAY for school finally starting! Yes it is only day 3 of my sophomore year, but I am exhausted. In all reality, I really don't even know what I am doing up because I am rather tired, but yet here I am, so this will probably be rather short tonight!
School, so far, is great! I don't know if I shared my schedule before, so I will share it again! I am taking econ, accounting and English 2010, plus stats 2300, cello, symphony, and institute! 15 credits baby.....oh yeah! It is actually just the right amount I think, but so far so good.
I think my English class is going to be rockin'! The teacher is probably only 5 years older then I am, but he seems to know his stuff. I have been told that my accounting professor is one of the best on campus, which is excellent because sitting through just two days of class, I am already a little lost.....haha numbers just aren't my strong suit. As for my econ professor....I haven't heard really anything about him, but so far I like him. I think his teaching methods are going to work well with how I learn, and I am slowly learning that econ is actually pretty interesting. I hate the graphing part of it, but the actual econ part of it is pretty cool, but again we will see where that goes. As for stats.....oh boy. After trying to test into it forever, I finally got in! The class itself is a class of 300 but we have recitations on Wednesdays and Fridays so that should really help! As for my other 3 classes, I haven't started them yet, but they are institute and two music classes so they will be good!
On top of that SAA has been in full throttle as well! September is the big month to recruit and put our name out on campus so we have at least once activity a week and two for some weeks even! Beyond our activities though I am managing the blog and working on other things here and there so it is crazy, but totally worth it! It is seriously one of the best clubs on campus EVER! I am so glad I joined last year! Between the people I have met and the experiences I have had and know I will have.....its just awesome!!!!
My string teaching job is also starting to pick up! Classes start in a two and a half weeks so we have been having meeting and I need to start planning classes too. Just thinking about it makes me really nervous, but I am also very excited! It will be a really good experience and plus it will let me add two more instruments to my list! Woot woot....haha the only problem is learning viola. Little harder then violin notes wise due to the clef, but I am willing and ready to learn!
But that about does it for me tonight! Again it is only day 3 and I feel like I've been in school for 3 weeks. I have been non stop go, for the most part, since Monday, but it is great! Well I am off to bed......TOOTLES!!!!!!
School, so far, is great! I don't know if I shared my schedule before, so I will share it again! I am taking econ, accounting and English 2010, plus stats 2300, cello, symphony, and institute! 15 credits baby.....oh yeah! It is actually just the right amount I think, but so far so good.
I think my English class is going to be rockin'! The teacher is probably only 5 years older then I am, but he seems to know his stuff. I have been told that my accounting professor is one of the best on campus, which is excellent because sitting through just two days of class, I am already a little lost.....haha numbers just aren't my strong suit. As for my econ professor....I haven't heard really anything about him, but so far I like him. I think his teaching methods are going to work well with how I learn, and I am slowly learning that econ is actually pretty interesting. I hate the graphing part of it, but the actual econ part of it is pretty cool, but again we will see where that goes. As for stats.....oh boy. After trying to test into it forever, I finally got in! The class itself is a class of 300 but we have recitations on Wednesdays and Fridays so that should really help! As for my other 3 classes, I haven't started them yet, but they are institute and two music classes so they will be good!
On top of that SAA has been in full throttle as well! September is the big month to recruit and put our name out on campus so we have at least once activity a week and two for some weeks even! Beyond our activities though I am managing the blog and working on other things here and there so it is crazy, but totally worth it! It is seriously one of the best clubs on campus EVER! I am so glad I joined last year! Between the people I have met and the experiences I have had and know I will have.....its just awesome!!!!
My string teaching job is also starting to pick up! Classes start in a two and a half weeks so we have been having meeting and I need to start planning classes too. Just thinking about it makes me really nervous, but I am also very excited! It will be a really good experience and plus it will let me add two more instruments to my list! Woot woot....haha the only problem is learning viola. Little harder then violin notes wise due to the clef, but I am willing and ready to learn!
But that about does it for me tonight! Again it is only day 3 and I feel like I've been in school for 3 weeks. I have been non stop go, for the most part, since Monday, but it is great! Well I am off to bed......TOOTLES!!!!!!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Where Did the Time Go?!
Oh my holy chicken......Where did the time go?!?! School starts tomorrow and I am so flipping excited! I honestly cannot believe that I will be a college sophomore! It feels like yesterday that I was just starting college! I am way excited for this year! Classes, clubs, work........it's all going to be awesome!
This year I am taking accounting, econ, and english 2010, plus cello, symphonic orchestra and hopefully business stats. It sounds like a really boring semester, but I have heard good things about the teachers and the courses, so it should be good! On top of classes themselves, I am also teaching elementary orchestra at two different elementary schools, working at Christopher and Banks, and being historian extraordinaire for the Student Alumni Association! It is going to be a tiring, long, and difficult semester, but I am so beyond exciting! Between the experiences, memories, and good times that I will have, every minute of this semester will be totally worth it!
I also was able to move into my new apartment this past weekend as well, so this whole week is just a whole new start for everything! Luckily I am living with two of my old roommates, so I am way excited about that!
Honestly, this semester is just going to be fabulous! It is exciting to grow up and learn and experience all of these things. Yes....there are parts of growing up that stink major big time, but the other parts are fun, and luckily this semester, I hope, will be a fun one!
Well I better go, but I will shortly report on how classes are going and what not, but as for now.....TOOTLES!!!!
This year I am taking accounting, econ, and english 2010, plus cello, symphonic orchestra and hopefully business stats. It sounds like a really boring semester, but I have heard good things about the teachers and the courses, so it should be good! On top of classes themselves, I am also teaching elementary orchestra at two different elementary schools, working at Christopher and Banks, and being historian extraordinaire for the Student Alumni Association! It is going to be a tiring, long, and difficult semester, but I am so beyond exciting! Between the experiences, memories, and good times that I will have, every minute of this semester will be totally worth it!
I also was able to move into my new apartment this past weekend as well, so this whole week is just a whole new start for everything! Luckily I am living with two of my old roommates, so I am way excited about that!
Honestly, this semester is just going to be fabulous! It is exciting to grow up and learn and experience all of these things. Yes....there are parts of growing up that stink major big time, but the other parts are fun, and luckily this semester, I hope, will be a fun one!
Well I better go, but I will shortly report on how classes are going and what not, but as for now.....TOOTLES!!!!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Why, why, why, why, WHY????
Have you ever thought to yourself, yelled to the heavens or sat or your knees quietly and asked the nine dollar and ten cent question...."Why God? Why?!" I'm sure we have all been there, done that, and been back again. Its a frequent question we ask everyday without even thinking about it anymore. Why does today suck? Why hasn't he called me? Why can I find the perfect shirt in every color except the one I need? Why didn't I ace that test? Why did everything go wrong all at once? Why did my grandpa end up in the hospital? Why did my car have to die today? Why, why, why, why, why????? Why is one of those words that never goes away and ends up in our vocabulary way more often then it probably should, and I, am sad to report, that this summer, why has come up way more often then it probably should have.
I dont know what it is about this summer, but this one amongst all the others in my nineteen years of living, was an extremely hard summer to get through. I found out a lot about myself this summer, however it came at a price of losing some of me along the way too. I hope that what I have lost is starting, and will slowly begin to come back.
At the beginning of the summer my why's to God were mostly the "Why cant I find a job? I can do whatever, so why why why wont anyone hire me?" After lots of praying, extreme hours of searching, and lots of patience, I was finally able to get a job. After first couple weeks however, a lot of my why's turned into self doubt and insecurities not only in myself, but in others and things I had thought I had understood and known all my life. I have always believed in the church and known that it was right, but when you start to feel so crappy about yourself and things going on around you and people changing, it is sometimes hard to remember the real reasons we are here and that there is someone up there who is always watching out for you.
I guess all I wanted was a little free reassurance. Just to be told everything was going to be alright, you are on the right path, I am giving you this challenge so that later when X, Y, and Z come up you know what to do, but if there is anything I have learned over the years, it is that if you want those answers, you have to ask first. There are not just free answers that will start flying down at ya for no reason....you have to ask first, and to be honest, I flat out didn't want to. Why did I have to ask? See....there is that why again. I just wanted to know why there was all this internal struggling going on, and why there was that little voice in the back of my head, and why wouldn't it go away. Why, why, why, why, WHY? On top of all those why's, why couldn't I just get the answer without asking first and why couldn't it be easy to understand.
Sadly, I believed the little voice in my head and decided that I'd been good enough, I was still a good person so I didn't have to ask. It was worth way more trouble then it was worth. Which, really in turn, made me more why's pop up in my head and made me feel even more conflicted with myself, but it was just too hard to go back.
Luckily today, I finally had a slight break through. This past week-ish has been pretty awful and all I wanted to sit around and do was veg on the couch and watch movies. I got home from my work meeting and though alright let's put in a movie, but what movie? Charley was the first movie to pop into my head, but pushed it aside cuz I wasnt in the crying mood for today. First movie ended, same though popped into my head. Second movie ended, same though popped into my head, so finally I just gave in and stuck in Charley.
Now I am sure you all know about the movie. Crazy girl comes to utah, meets Sam. Sam introduces her to the church, she is baptized, there is some drama in between and then they are married. Once they are married and have a baby, Charley learns she has terminal cancer. It's such a sad, but great film. Anyways, in the movie, after Sam finds out about the cancer, the question that comes out of his mouth the most is why. "Why God cant you heal her? Why God are you taking her from me? Why, why, why?" Before Charley dies, she tells Sam that it will all work out. It doesnt matter what you have done previous or are doing in the moment, but it will all work out. She talks about how the gospel has served them so well and that there was no way they could back out or not believe now just because of a road bump along the way. There was no reason for them to turn away from God just cuz he didnt give them what they wanted. Just because things don't go the way you want them to does not mean that you are any less important or forgotten. Regardless she doesnt say those exact words, but tonight that was what I got out of it, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. God truly does work in mysterious way doesnt he?
Here is the truly amazing part. I could honestly say that it has been awhile since me and the man upstairs have had a good chat, but regardless of that, he still answered my why's tonight. He did not answer them specifically, but close enough that it makes me realize he hears us and knows our hearts desires without having to talk to us directly. There are still a lot of why's going on in my head right now, and I dont see that changing anytime soon, but to know that without even asking, God can send us that comfort and those answers is truly a blessing. It is one of those times that smacks you in the face when you need it the most to bring you down off your high horse.
I am sorry if this whole entry seems pretty jumbled, but it was one of those things that I needed to just get out of my head and all down on a piece of paper, or in my case, a computer screen. I am starting to realize the rut I have been in the past few months and I am mostly realizing that it is time to climb out. Sadly the climb is going to be a tough one this time around, probably one of the tougher ones too, but I know it will be worth it.
I remember a couple summers ago, I was going through a little rough patch....surprising, I know, but I was talking with my mom and she said something that I will never forget. She probably doesnt even remember this but I remember sitting there talking with her and asking what was the point anymore. I was doing what I should and nothing was coming of it. Maybe this way of life or way of thinking wasnt the right one or the one I should be following. Well my mom, in all her wisdom and firm tone of voice, looked me straight in the face and said "You've been taught better....You know better then to doubt." How true that wise mama is! That thought comes to me more then most I think, when I struggle and watching the movie tonight and thinking over some things, that was all that would keep popping into my head. Isnt it amazing what a simple movie can do for you?! Just that one little thought, is the thing that put me to ease on a couple things tonight and plus it was the quiet reassurance that was very much needed.
I know this post is a little longer and on a more serious not then usual, but tonight I needed to just get this all down. But just in closing to this more serious blog for this even I want everyone to remember that if you just stick to what you know and live those principles and try your hardest, I am pretty sure that the why's will start to come less and less and it will be easier to concentrate on the more important things in life that are happening right now.
I dont know what it is about this summer, but this one amongst all the others in my nineteen years of living, was an extremely hard summer to get through. I found out a lot about myself this summer, however it came at a price of losing some of me along the way too. I hope that what I have lost is starting, and will slowly begin to come back.
At the beginning of the summer my why's to God were mostly the "Why cant I find a job? I can do whatever, so why why why wont anyone hire me?" After lots of praying, extreme hours of searching, and lots of patience, I was finally able to get a job. After first couple weeks however, a lot of my why's turned into self doubt and insecurities not only in myself, but in others and things I had thought I had understood and known all my life. I have always believed in the church and known that it was right, but when you start to feel so crappy about yourself and things going on around you and people changing, it is sometimes hard to remember the real reasons we are here and that there is someone up there who is always watching out for you.
I guess all I wanted was a little free reassurance. Just to be told everything was going to be alright, you are on the right path, I am giving you this challenge so that later when X, Y, and Z come up you know what to do, but if there is anything I have learned over the years, it is that if you want those answers, you have to ask first. There are not just free answers that will start flying down at ya for no reason....you have to ask first, and to be honest, I flat out didn't want to. Why did I have to ask? See....there is that why again. I just wanted to know why there was all this internal struggling going on, and why there was that little voice in the back of my head, and why wouldn't it go away. Why, why, why, why, WHY? On top of all those why's, why couldn't I just get the answer without asking first and why couldn't it be easy to understand.
Sadly, I believed the little voice in my head and decided that I'd been good enough, I was still a good person so I didn't have to ask. It was worth way more trouble then it was worth. Which, really in turn, made me more why's pop up in my head and made me feel even more conflicted with myself, but it was just too hard to go back.
Luckily today, I finally had a slight break through. This past week-ish has been pretty awful and all I wanted to sit around and do was veg on the couch and watch movies. I got home from my work meeting and though alright let's put in a movie, but what movie? Charley was the first movie to pop into my head, but pushed it aside cuz I wasnt in the crying mood for today. First movie ended, same though popped into my head. Second movie ended, same though popped into my head, so finally I just gave in and stuck in Charley.
Now I am sure you all know about the movie. Crazy girl comes to utah, meets Sam. Sam introduces her to the church, she is baptized, there is some drama in between and then they are married. Once they are married and have a baby, Charley learns she has terminal cancer. It's such a sad, but great film. Anyways, in the movie, after Sam finds out about the cancer, the question that comes out of his mouth the most is why. "Why God cant you heal her? Why God are you taking her from me? Why, why, why?" Before Charley dies, she tells Sam that it will all work out. It doesnt matter what you have done previous or are doing in the moment, but it will all work out. She talks about how the gospel has served them so well and that there was no way they could back out or not believe now just because of a road bump along the way. There was no reason for them to turn away from God just cuz he didnt give them what they wanted. Just because things don't go the way you want them to does not mean that you are any less important or forgotten. Regardless she doesnt say those exact words, but tonight that was what I got out of it, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. God truly does work in mysterious way doesnt he?
Here is the truly amazing part. I could honestly say that it has been awhile since me and the man upstairs have had a good chat, but regardless of that, he still answered my why's tonight. He did not answer them specifically, but close enough that it makes me realize he hears us and knows our hearts desires without having to talk to us directly. There are still a lot of why's going on in my head right now, and I dont see that changing anytime soon, but to know that without even asking, God can send us that comfort and those answers is truly a blessing. It is one of those times that smacks you in the face when you need it the most to bring you down off your high horse.
I am sorry if this whole entry seems pretty jumbled, but it was one of those things that I needed to just get out of my head and all down on a piece of paper, or in my case, a computer screen. I am starting to realize the rut I have been in the past few months and I am mostly realizing that it is time to climb out. Sadly the climb is going to be a tough one this time around, probably one of the tougher ones too, but I know it will be worth it.
I remember a couple summers ago, I was going through a little rough patch....surprising, I know, but I was talking with my mom and she said something that I will never forget. She probably doesnt even remember this but I remember sitting there talking with her and asking what was the point anymore. I was doing what I should and nothing was coming of it. Maybe this way of life or way of thinking wasnt the right one or the one I should be following. Well my mom, in all her wisdom and firm tone of voice, looked me straight in the face and said "You've been taught better....You know better then to doubt." How true that wise mama is! That thought comes to me more then most I think, when I struggle and watching the movie tonight and thinking over some things, that was all that would keep popping into my head. Isnt it amazing what a simple movie can do for you?! Just that one little thought, is the thing that put me to ease on a couple things tonight and plus it was the quiet reassurance that was very much needed.
I know this post is a little longer and on a more serious not then usual, but tonight I needed to just get this all down. But just in closing to this more serious blog for this even I want everyone to remember that if you just stick to what you know and live those principles and try your hardest, I am pretty sure that the why's will start to come less and less and it will be easier to concentrate on the more important things in life that are happening right now.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Slight New Obsession
So for the past few weeks I have been hanging out with my neighbors, who are awesome by the way! The beginning of the summer was really boring and none of us were brave enough to go knock on someone's door and say, "Hey, let's do something!" Well we finally all ended up hanging out and for the past month or so we are always hanging out....it's awesome! But anyway, back to my slight new obsession.
My neighbor Maddie is a HUGE fan of The Big Bang Theory, and I have watched a couple episodes before, but never really gotten into it.....until now!
The past few nights when a bunch of us have hung out, we have stuck in Big Bang Theory while we are doing stuff! It is soooo funny! I haven't laughed this hard watching a show since Friends! I love how nerdy Sheldon and Leonard are! They are absolutely hysterical! And Raj and Howard are just the perfect nerdy comedic add on. I love their love for science and comic book heroes and everything! Then when you add in Penny, who is completely clueless but still loves her nerdy neighbors, the whole thing is just great! If you have never watched this show, I would highly recommend it! Luckily Maddie as all 3 seasons, so I am borrowing them and watching through so I can be caught up when the 4th season comes out! Well I am out for now....TOOTLES!!!!!
My neighbor Maddie is a HUGE fan of The Big Bang Theory, and I have watched a couple episodes before, but never really gotten into it.....until now!
The past few nights when a bunch of us have hung out, we have stuck in Big Bang Theory while we are doing stuff! It is soooo funny! I haven't laughed this hard watching a show since Friends! I love how nerdy Sheldon and Leonard are! They are absolutely hysterical! And Raj and Howard are just the perfect nerdy comedic add on. I love their love for science and comic book heroes and everything! Then when you add in Penny, who is completely clueless but still loves her nerdy neighbors, the whole thing is just great! If you have never watched this show, I would highly recommend it! Luckily Maddie as all 3 seasons, so I am borrowing them and watching through so I can be caught up when the 4th season comes out! Well I am out for now....TOOTLES!!!!!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Gangster Me
So last night I was kinda bored, so I decided to hit up our in house movie collection and watch a new movie! Kelsey and Chloe both have quite a few movies I haven't seen so I thought what better way to spend my night then stickin' in a new film!
Last nights pick was "Public Enemies!" It stars Johnny Depp as John Dillinger, a famous 1930's ganster, along with Marion Cotillard as Billie Frechette, Dillinger's love interest, and Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis, the FBI agent after Dillinger. What a fabulous movie!!!!!!!! The cast was cast perfectly! Johnny Depp....amazing as usual! I love old based movies like these so much. I really wish I could have lived in the 1920's and 30's. The time, the fashion, the development, the people......everything just seems so cool, minus the depression that is. So as I was sitting there watching this movie I though, how cool would it be to be a 1930's gangster's wife, that is minus the whole stealing, murdering, crime committing side of it all.
I had a friends whose blog I use to follow who would do a list of "If I were this, then this is what life would be like," so I thought it would be fun to do one of those since that is honestly what I was thinking about as I was watching this movie last night! So here is my list:
Let's first start with my husband! I am thinking someone like Johnny Depp or Christian Bale would work really well in that situation. They were cast in this movie for a reason, so why mess with what would work! I am liking the idea of him being a bank robber just due the fact that that includes less killing and torturing of people. He'd rule the Chicago world, have corrupt policemen on his force, be able to go anywhere and see mostly anyone without any questions asked. He would have some cool gangster name like Scar face Scotty or Lucky Lenny, but still be the hottest, most important man in Chicago!
Next would come my awesome fashion! If I am going to be a wife of a top 1930's gangster, I've got to look good! My husband would spoil me with fancy clothes and I would be looking hot whenever I'd step out on the street. People, of course, would know who I am and be equally as impressed, awed, and respectful of me as they are with my husband, because let's be honest, you disrespect a gangster's wife and you are pretty much done for. They would also slightly scared of me too cuz you can't be a gangster's wife and not have a little backbone and a few dirty tricks up your sleeve. I would have some cool name like Buggy or Billie too!
If I was to be bored during the day, I would head down to the local gang bar where again, everyone knows who I am, order a gingerale on the rocks and sit and enjoy my time talking with the other gangster wives or helping my hubby out with little deals here and there that he would need my help on.......sounds like a good day to me personally!
Then at night, most nights minds you, I'd do my hair all fancy so my husband and I could go out to fancy dinners and dances, partially so we could have our date nights and also so he could take care of his business when and where it was needed!
I, of course, would be wearing fancy jewels for very special occasions!
Then depending on where we were going and who we would be meeting would depend on the type of dress I would wear. I would like to think that the top dress would be used for the most important meetings and dining parties, while the bottom dress is used for other, maybe not as fancy, but still amazing places!
Then after a long night of dancing, socializing, eating, and taking care of business, my husband and I would return to our penthouse suite in the downtown hotel where we would then listen to the radio or read a book and spend some time together!
Yup......that sounds like a pretty fabulous life to me! Again, I know that being a gangster's wife is not all its cracked up to be, but lets just say we are going with the ultimate movie edition of the perfect 1930's gangster life! I think it would be so fun (again speaking idealistically here)! I honestly think that if I could be born in a different time, in a different lifestyle, for right now, I would probably pick this one (still speaking idealistically).
I will admit that the big draw for me to this era is the fashion, but everything from the 1920's to the early 1940's just amazes me! The history, especially the crime history like all this mob and gangster stuff, the fashion, the city life......everything just seems so cool!!!!
For you movie fans out there, I would, without a doubt, recommend Public Enemies! It is such a great film and actually nothing is too horrible in it. The rating is for gangster violence, but honestly it isn't bad at all, at least no more then you'd see in any other film.
So there is my little fantasy for the day and probably for the next little while, but I am out for now......TOOTLES!!!!!!
Last nights pick was "Public Enemies!" It stars Johnny Depp as John Dillinger, a famous 1930's ganster, along with Marion Cotillard as Billie Frechette, Dillinger's love interest, and Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis, the FBI agent after Dillinger. What a fabulous movie!!!!!!!! The cast was cast perfectly! Johnny Depp....amazing as usual! I love old based movies like these so much. I really wish I could have lived in the 1920's and 30's. The time, the fashion, the development, the people......everything just seems so cool, minus the depression that is. So as I was sitting there watching this movie I though, how cool would it be to be a 1930's gangster's wife, that is minus the whole stealing, murdering, crime committing side of it all.
I had a friends whose blog I use to follow who would do a list of "If I were this, then this is what life would be like," so I thought it would be fun to do one of those since that is honestly what I was thinking about as I was watching this movie last night! So here is my list:
"If I were a Wife of a 1930's Chicago Gangster"
Let's first start with my husband! I am thinking someone like Johnny Depp or Christian Bale would work really well in that situation. They were cast in this movie for a reason, so why mess with what would work! I am liking the idea of him being a bank robber just due the fact that that includes less killing and torturing of people. He'd rule the Chicago world, have corrupt policemen on his force, be able to go anywhere and see mostly anyone without any questions asked. He would have some cool gangster name like Scar face Scotty or Lucky Lenny, but still be the hottest, most important man in Chicago!
Next would come my awesome fashion! If I am going to be a wife of a top 1930's gangster, I've got to look good! My husband would spoil me with fancy clothes and I would be looking hot whenever I'd step out on the street. People, of course, would know who I am and be equally as impressed, awed, and respectful of me as they are with my husband, because let's be honest, you disrespect a gangster's wife and you are pretty much done for. They would also slightly scared of me too cuz you can't be a gangster's wife and not have a little backbone and a few dirty tricks up your sleeve. I would have some cool name like Buggy or Billie too!
If I was to be bored during the day, I would head down to the local gang bar where again, everyone knows who I am, order a gingerale on the rocks and sit and enjoy my time talking with the other gangster wives or helping my hubby out with little deals here and there that he would need my help on.......sounds like a good day to me personally!
Then at night, most nights minds you, I'd do my hair all fancy so my husband and I could go out to fancy dinners and dances, partially so we could have our date nights and also so he could take care of his business when and where it was needed!
I, of course, would be wearing fancy jewels for very special occasions!
Then depending on where we were going and who we would be meeting would depend on the type of dress I would wear. I would like to think that the top dress would be used for the most important meetings and dining parties, while the bottom dress is used for other, maybe not as fancy, but still amazing places!
Then after a long night of dancing, socializing, eating, and taking care of business, my husband and I would return to our penthouse suite in the downtown hotel where we would then listen to the radio or read a book and spend some time together!
I will admit that the big draw for me to this era is the fashion, but everything from the 1920's to the early 1940's just amazes me! The history, especially the crime history like all this mob and gangster stuff, the fashion, the city life......everything just seems so cool!!!!
For you movie fans out there, I would, without a doubt, recommend Public Enemies! It is such a great film and actually nothing is too horrible in it. The rating is for gangster violence, but honestly it isn't bad at all, at least no more then you'd see in any other film.
So there is my little fantasy for the day and probably for the next little while, but I am out for now......TOOTLES!!!!!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Where Are All the Boys?!
So I know I haven't blogged for a while, but I had some time and thought what a perfect time to blog! Life has been pretty great lately. Just working, spending time with the family and friends, and just having a good time. Everything has been going great except I am losing all my boys!!!! I've finally hit the point where every guy I know has either left or is leaving to go on a mission....IT'S CRAZY!!!!!!! It is a good thing they are leaving to go on a mission or I would NOT allow it any other way!
I really can't believe that I am old enough to have all my guy friends leave for missions. It seriously feels like yesterday that I was little and missionaries were the cool, older kids.....Now apparently I am part of the cool, older kid crowd. Well I don't know about cool, but at least older haha! I am growing up way too fast and I am not ok with it!
Here are just a few missionaries I watched go over the past couple months! I love these boys!!!!
I really can't believe that I am old enough to have all my guy friends leave for missions. It seriously feels like yesterday that I was little and missionaries were the cool, older kids.....Now apparently I am part of the cool, older kid crowd. Well I don't know about cool, but at least older haha! I am growing up way too fast and I am not ok with it!
Here are just a few missionaries I watched go over the past couple months! I love these boys!!!!
This is Scott! I stole his pic off facebook, that is why its all fancy! I met him through being involved with Copper Hills. I was the orchestra teacher's daughter, he was the band teacher's son, hence we got along! We were both involved in music and music pit and he actually took me out last winter, and might I add it was one of the best dates ever! He is such a great kid....Missouri will love him!
This is Austin! I met Austin through school last year. We were neighbors and ended up becoming amazing friends! He actually also played the cello and we found out later that we were in Utah Youth together for a year and didnt even know it (although he played trombone then)! He is such a great kid and probably one of the most spiritual people I know....Arizona is lucky to have him!
This is Landon, also one of my neighbors from last year and funny enough former basketball player of my step dad (it's quite hysterical how small this world really is)! Lando is such an awesome guy! He was probably one of the guys I got along best with last year and got really close to. He is funnier then all get out and could always find something stupid to do and make you have a good laugh! I love him to death and I know he'll have fun in Oklahoma!
This is Townsen, also another friend I met at school! He was my upstairs neighbor and a great guy! Oh the conversations me and him had! We seemed to be the two that could always find some way to end up in deep conversation. He is probably one of the funniest and most loved kids I know...the kid has friends that go on for miles!!!!! He is so fabulous and I know Arizona will love him!
Now I know most of you know this handsome red head, but for those that don't this is Reg! Oh Reg....where do I even begin. He is one of my bestest guy friends...oh the things we have been through. He went from biggest crush to greatest friend all throughout high school. He was my first date and he is probably one of the greatest guys I know! His example and spirit is enormous and he is so loving and such an amazing friend! Haha I dont know how that fair skin and red hair will treat him in the sun and heat, but I know he will have an amazing time in Peru!
This is Austin! I met Austin through school last year. We were neighbors and ended up becoming amazing friends! He actually also played the cello and we found out later that we were in Utah Youth together for a year and didnt even know it (although he played trombone then)! He is such a great kid and probably one of the most spiritual people I know....Arizona is lucky to have him!
This is Landon, also one of my neighbors from last year and funny enough former basketball player of my step dad (it's quite hysterical how small this world really is)! Lando is such an awesome guy! He was probably one of the guys I got along best with last year and got really close to. He is funnier then all get out and could always find something stupid to do and make you have a good laugh! I love him to death and I know he'll have fun in Oklahoma!
This is Townsen, also another friend I met at school! He was my upstairs neighbor and a great guy! Oh the conversations me and him had! We seemed to be the two that could always find some way to end up in deep conversation. He is probably one of the funniest and most loved kids I know...the kid has friends that go on for miles!!!!! He is so fabulous and I know Arizona will love him!
Now I know most of you know this handsome red head, but for those that don't this is Reg! Oh Reg....where do I even begin. He is one of my bestest guy friends...oh the things we have been through. He went from biggest crush to greatest friend all throughout high school. He was my first date and he is probably one of the greatest guys I know! His example and spirit is enormous and he is so loving and such an amazing friend! Haha I dont know how that fair skin and red hair will treat him in the sun and heat, but I know he will have an amazing time in Peru!
Now those are the boys I have just sent out that are some of my really good friends! I have so many more guys that I have known and went to school with that have left and I know they are doing great! It's crazy to think that two kids, who I have grown up with since I was little, have been for 9 and 10 months! I actually just got a letter from both Taylor and Cameron and they are doing great and loving their missions!
Luckily I only have a couple more friends to send out. I dont think I can take anymore leaving me! I've got one friend from school that can shortly put in his papers and the my bestest friend Alex just got his call to Honolulu, Hawaii! That lucky duck! That is one pretty sweet mission if you ask me! I will say it now and I am sure you will hear about it in October when he leaves, but his will probably be the hardest for me just because we are so close. Kathryn, him and I are like the 3 amigos, the 3 musketeers, the 3 blind mice for crying out loud!!!! Even though I live in Logan, the 3 of us are still stuck together like glue. I cant believe he is going for two years!!! It really just blows my mind!
As hard as it is to see all these boys go, I know that they are doing the right thing and being doing exactly what they should! They have taught me so much over the years and before they left they were already spiritual giants, I cant wait to see how much more they grow over their missions! I LOVE YA BOYS!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily I only have a couple more friends to send out. I dont think I can take anymore leaving me! I've got one friend from school that can shortly put in his papers and the my bestest friend Alex just got his call to Honolulu, Hawaii! That lucky duck! That is one pretty sweet mission if you ask me! I will say it now and I am sure you will hear about it in October when he leaves, but his will probably be the hardest for me just because we are so close. Kathryn, him and I are like the 3 amigos, the 3 musketeers, the 3 blind mice for crying out loud!!!! Even though I live in Logan, the 3 of us are still stuck together like glue. I cant believe he is going for two years!!! It really just blows my mind!
As hard as it is to see all these boys go, I know that they are doing the right thing and being doing exactly what they should! They have taught me so much over the years and before they left they were already spiritual giants, I cant wait to see how much more they grow over their missions! I LOVE YA BOYS!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Cupcake Madness
Alright....I know I haven't blogged in forever and then some, but to be honest, its because I haven't had anything to blog about. The past month as been pretty boring. I've worked, gone to a few farewells and read a lot. That is about it, but yesterday is a total blogging moment, so I thought I would share in the greatness that Kelsey, Chloe and I experienced yesterday!
We had such a fun time making them! They are not as easy as they look though and they do take a lot more time then originally thought as well, but it was a ton of fun!!!!! So if you are ever in need of a something to do, go buy yourselves this book and get started......It's totally worth it!!!
I have one word for you......CUPCAKES!!!!!! So chloe has this fabulous book of creative cupcake ideas. If you want to make something out of a cupcake....its in the book. There are instructions on how to make ducks, spaghetti, scarecrows, and anything else you can think of. So since it was a boring sunday we decided we wanted to try and make 12 ducks and 12 bears.
We first started by making the actual cupcakes, cuz its a little hard to make extreme cupcakes without the actual cupcake!
Alright, so after we got the cupcakes going, we then had to frost and start adding on to make our cute ducks and bears. We had to use doughnut holes and marshmallows for the head and the tails. We then freezed them, dipped them in melted frosting, freezed again and starting adding on stuff.
Here are our cute freezer ducks!
Here is Kelsey putting on the finishing touches!!!!
So after 5ish hours of baking, decorating, dipping, freezing, and snacking ourselves into a deep sugar-coma......we finally had deformed, but strangely cute duck and bear cupcakes!
We first started by making the actual cupcakes, cuz its a little hard to make extreme cupcakes without the actual cupcake!
Alright, so after we got the cupcakes going, we then had to frost and start adding on to make our cute ducks and bears. We had to use doughnut holes and marshmallows for the head and the tails. We then freezed them, dipped them in melted frosting, freezed again and starting adding on stuff.
Here are our cute freezer ducks!
Here is Kelsey putting on the finishing touches!!!!
So after 5ish hours of baking, decorating, dipping, freezing, and snacking ourselves into a deep sugar-coma......we finally had deformed, but strangely cute duck and bear cupcakes!
We had such a fun time making them! They are not as easy as they look though and they do take a lot more time then originally thought as well, but it was a ton of fun!!!!! So if you are ever in need of a something to do, go buy yourselves this book and get started......It's totally worth it!!!
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